It was a wild weekend in Vegas to say the least. Complete with obscure deaths, new racey entertainment, lame bachelor.bachelorette parties, making a killing at low limit poker, brushes with celebrity, stepping in dog shit, and homeless people in disguise.
As though that weren’t enough, the boys break down the Station Casino chain. They feature crappy cover bands, but at least they offer amazing opportunities to locals…or do they? Plus Brian devulges a deep dark secret.
Finally, Tommy and Brian make their picks for tonight’s national championship game, and a trully “shitty” This Ain’t Iowa segment.
Email: Brian Mollica brian@notiowa.com and Tommy Dutch tom@notiowa.com Give us a call 206-203-Iowa
I appreciate the mention of my post about Forver Plaid @ the Gold Coast, but..
C’mon Brian, it was tongue-in-cheek. Didn’t you ever see “Blast from the Past”w\Brendan Fraser?, that’s what I was alluding to with the bomb-shelter comment you didn’t tie in.
I guess it’s just another obtuse reference from the D-dog. {Don’t you just hate people who refer to themselves in the third-person?}
PS: I’m now thinking of changing my handle to Perry Como’s Nemesis..
April Fools!
Nice job gentlemen, you had me going right up to the live sex show. But then, I fell for the Sports Illustrated article on the pitcher who could throw 150 mph many years ago. Those under 40 will probably not remember that one.
Just finished listening to the show. Since both hosts are leaning to the over on the football references tonight, I have to believe the under is the “sharp” side.
So ala my mentor Fezzik, I will make 2 limit bets on the unders.
I love the poll question…
Only in Vegas can you play poker with a guy drinking straight bourbon for 5 hours. Than watch him get up say “sorry guys, gotta catch my plane”…
BTW, LGH… I stay up 3 hours every night trying to figure out why I live here in Wichita and have come up dry for about 6 months now… so, no offense taken…
But maybe you didn’t hear me BET ON DOGS AND RIDE A MECHANICAL BULL IN THE SAME F’N PLACE!!!!!
I think purpose has been brought back into my life, lol…
Scott J-
150 mph fastball..
You must mean the legendary Sid Finch..You mean he wasn’t real?!
Don’t forget about Sid’s boot
Good job. Like Scott J you had me until the live sex show story. Why do I think that any Elvis impersonator would be proud to check out in the same fashion as the King?
What is the bachelorette party game “sucking lifesavers off of …?” Off of what?
Only near celbrity experience: At the craps table at Hilton in 98 (I think it was 98), Dennis Rodman stepped up and put a few hundred on the line. The shooter promptly sevened out. Rodman picked up the dice and threw them at the shooter. The pit boss threw him off the table.
Nice April Fool’s…you had me with Fat Elvis and the suicide, but then I got suspicious with the murders, and definitelyl didn’t fall for the sex show. Good effort, though.
I’ve had 3 celebrity experiences: !)shook John Kerry’s hand at Bellagio shops one afternoon, 2) played BJ at Hard Rock with Dennis Rodman standing behind me for a while, and 3) talked with (i.e. hit on to no avail) Johanna from Real World Austin for a half hour at The Bar at Times Square in NYNY.
Great show guys. I was one of the people half-way through typing “suicide at stratosp . . .” when my gullible ass caught up to the joke.
The reason I am Chris Duhon’s nemesis:
I had an amazing weekend gambling on the ’04 final four until I put my entire profit for the weekend on UCONN covering, then left for McCarran. Needless to say my $600 was among the supposed $100 million that switched hands as I sat at a bar by my gate and watched his “meaningless”, last-second 38-foot three-pointer that prevented Uconn from covering the spread. Sorry about the lame bad-beat moniker, but it it has defined my quest for sports gambling vengeance ever since . . .
Thanks for the awesome show.
CDn
Congrats to Hawkeye Brad for winning our pool! His bracket is no joke, a very impressive run finishing in the top 1 percent of all entries.
Shoot us an e-mail and let us know where we can ship the goods because you have prizes coming at you worth dozens of cents.
Please allow 2-3 months for delivery.
good one on the April Fool’s joke, i live here and you had me going for a little while. i was thinking when the f*** did that happen. i read the RJ every morning and couldn’t figure out how i could miss those stories. granted i did spend over 25 hours at the South Point from Thursday night to Saturday afternoon to get the 50 hours in the poker room i needed to qualify for there $30K free roll tourney.
tommy, thanks so much for the island bbq suggestion. i love hawaiian bbq and have been searching around here far and wide for one of these places.
i had a false alarm and felt like a real douche when i saw a “Island BBQ” store on Eastern here in Henderson, however, when i parked and was about to enter the store, i could see spas in the window and realized it was an actual BBQ and spa/jacuzzi store. that sucked.
This is going to be interesting…I can’t wait to see what TD came up with as a prize!
Much like the others, I fully believed Fat Elvis and the frat boy doing the header off of the Strat. The live sex show was a little too much though. Maybe if you had said it was going to be at some dingy place downtown like Glitter Gulch I might have bought it.
What was the place again with the all you can eat (baby) barbecue? Was that Red Rock?
Bingo?
And I have to take crap about Mai Tai’s ?
Oh my god….you’re killing me again. First of all, I want to acknowlegde and appreciate Tommy’s suggestion of the “Hawaiian BBQ” restaurant. Props. Now I want to say that that was probably the most “HAOLE” sounding description of a Hawaiian institution I have heard in ages. I’m saying this as a White/Midwestern brother of yours. No disrespect. The Hawaiians have lots of soul and lots of flavor in their personality, their SPEECH and their food. If you spend much time in Hawaii in will quickly need to become fluent in at least understanding Pidgin English. Tommy’s description in perfect English with phrases like “chicken dishes” “ten minutes to prepare your food” sound like the cliche black comedian doing the “lame white guy voice”. I was loving it. You’ll never find a “local” person describe a “plate lunch” place like this ever.
As the self appointed Haole-Midwestern amdassor to Hawaii I want to educate the Mainland on the finer points of the culture. I lived in Hawaii for several years (and not in any lame capacity ie on a military base) and I ABSOLUTELY love the people and culture and spirit of Aloha. First of all, people who are from Hawaii consider themselves to be “local”…they move…they travel…they are still “local”. Now this whole food thing is called “plate lunch” or the washed down, more marketable to the mainland mainstream term can be called Hawaiin BBQ. Basically, it’s macaroni salad, a couple of scoops of rice and typically some kind of meat…often deepfat fried and smother in gravy and it comes in a big styrofoam package. The bottomline line is the “plate lunch” is AMAZING. It’s horrible for you (and the environment) with thousands of calories and tons of fat, but totally delious. Now there are lots of these places…including one RIGHT in the Main Street Station. Check ‘em out. AND…don’t be a PUSSY and order something like teriyaki chicken and eat it with a fork. Come on that’s like going to a sushi place and getting California Rolls. Try some real “local” food from the below list.
Lau Lau
Loco Moco (don’t even ask what it is…just order it and enjoy) Awesome postdrinking binge
Chicken Katsu (or kick it up with the Katsu-Curry for a cholesterol boost)
Chicken Long Rice
Kalua Pork/Cabbage
Next Time I’m in Vegas I’ll take you guys out to plate lunch my treat, but I won’t allow any ordering of any “pussy” dishes.
mmmmmmmmmm….
Loco Moco sounds like a Trainfan kinda food.
Dude. Seriously fire one up after a night of “mai tai-ing” one on…its the greatest.
I’m literally shoveling kalua pig into my cake hole this minute and putting this message up on my blackberry. I got so excited about the food I had to head to the neighborhood L&L drive-in. Its a staple in Hawaii, but a treat here in Seattle. Of course there were 2 irritated blond middle age women pointing @ pictures in line in front of me asking “what’s plate lunch?”
patch… you think I haven’t been listening right along? For shame! I’ve just been busy with stuff, mainly new online addictions that I won’t get into here. Although I do hit the digital felt still from time to time. And no… my new online addiction, it’s not porn.
And as for the April Fools joke, BMo, Tommy, let’s face it, this is Vegas we’re talking here, even YOU guys have to admit you could see someone try to put together a live sex show at some point. Fat Elvis dying? I mean come on, he’s fat. Now flying fish over the Luxor… THAT’S a April Fool’s joke. Don’t you know that anything hovering over a giant light is gonna project and odd giant shadow?
patch, your descriptions sound great, but the tone was a bit harsh.
you have to give tommy a little slack, remember that this is las vegas and everything is in a strip mall, so authenticity is in short supply. witness, las vegas “china town”. it is about 5 blocks on Spring Mountain west of 15 – the only way you would know it was china town is because of pagoda roofs on the same stucco buildings that are in every shopping center. not to mention that it probably should be called Asia Town since you will find as many Vietnamese, Korea, and Thai restaurants as you will find Chinese.
i am open to any restaurant suggestion that offer a little escape from the highly touted, las vegas resident favorites of applebee’s, olive garden, and red lobsters.
and on those days that you want some thing a little “lighter” the chicken, beef and short ribs are quite yummy.
I apologize…please keep in mind…just over 99% of what I say it not to be taken literally, I’m just joking around. I’m just being my typical sarcastic/cynical self. I just thought Tommy’s bit sounded like Al Gore giving his review on a Soul Food restaurant. I was not trying to knock this vegas spot by any means. I’m sure it’s quite authentic and I can’t wait to check it out. Any extra special I’m sorry to the Teriyaki Chicken Lovers in the World. Keeping fighting the good fight.
So Bdell…what level is your Dark Elf up to on World of Warcraft??? Damnit. There I go again….being harsh…breaking balls. I’m a terrible person. Seriously what level?
Kiddin’ bro. Awesome to have you back in the game.
I looked up what’s in a loco moco and have spent the past 1/2 hour looking for a Hawaiian joint in the western suburbs of chicago – got to get me some of that – though I did find the recipe and just might have to make it myself.
Talk about a meal after a night of carousing – mmmmm
Don’t be too shocked by patch’s tone mofobes. Keep in mind, he did rise to the ranks of official All in Ball Breaker, which is quite prestigious given that talent pool.
I was fished in all the way. After a failed Google search I went on the LVRJ website and was scouring the archives. I had the show on in the background and didn’t even hear the part about the live sex shows, I was so busy searching for “Stratosphere suicide”. I thought maybe I was spelling “Stratosphere” wrong. I kept thinking to myself, “BMO said it was national news but I can’t even find it on Google. WTF is wrong with him?”
yeah, i looked up that loco moco too and although it might taste good, the pictures make it ook like someone already ate it.
i don’t take any offense patch, i see now that you are just a passionate man when it comes to your plate lunches.
there are 7 L&L locatations here in vegas. i will have to give one of those a try too.
To keep with the Hawaiian theme – I think we need to get some live TAI coverage of :
“the infamous Miss Hawaiian Tropic® International Pageant Finals hosted by the luxurious Mirage from May 10th through May 14th, 2007. This will be the prestigious pageant’s 24th year bringing the most poised, charismatic, and of course gorgeous women in the world together all on one stage. ”
And then everyone out for some Moco Loco afterwards
Brian:
B-23, I-16, G-72, N-44, O-66, B-6, I-71, O-12, N-77, N-2, B-12, I-55, N-32, G-21, O-34, B-6, I-14, N-54, G-43,
B-2, I-99, N-76, This is awesome, G-33, O-65, B-54, N-4,
I-22, B-24, I-17, G-7, N-4, O-67, B-26, I-7, O-1, N-79
B-11, I-5, N-39, G-40, O-51, B-63, I-41, N-15, G-46!
Did you win?
Cat out of Bag. Here’s the Loco Moco breakdown. You got your basic plate lunch base camp: 2 scoops rice and mac salad. Now fire in a couple of hamburger patties. Slide on a couple of fried eggs (typically) and then cover the whole baby with slow flowing golden brown gravy. Fobes has a good read on this meal….it’s not a “looker”. Just close your eyes and sink your teeth into the goodness. When’s the last time you had mac salad smothered in mayonaise, topped with egg yolk and covered in gravy? If I’m ever on death row…I’ll be ordering the loco moco for my last meal.
Trainfan. Check out this place. Sounds like the joint in Chi-Town.
http://www.alohagrillbbq.com/menu.htm
By the way Brian – and I know I’m repeating myself – but
Bingo?
Or do you insiders say B-I-N-G-O and spell it out like the old kids song?
WTF. If I see you thowing down money with the three card monte guys camped out in front of the City Center construction site when I’m back in town I’m gonna have to do some kind of an intervention.
I looked all over for some decent Bingo jokes or funny videos and there aren’t any. You know why?
IT’S NOT FUNNY. It’s too f’ng pathetic to even make fun of. The closest was some Aussie guy making fun of the numbers – the old hysterical 69 jokes.
To give you an example – here’s about the best joke I could find – and I challenge anyone to find others:
Actually. I’m not even going to tak the time to cut and paste it. The punch line is “I didn’t want to get your bingo card wet.”
It sucked.
Someone – perhaps a relative of yours – posted a few Bingo limerick gems:
“Two bingo players sit together
Face each other and wonder whether
Thee or me, which one will win
Me I hope will wear the grin.”
I can’t believe this about you…..and I gotta tell you I’m having a difficult time accepting it. You tell us this about you NOW. NOW. Forty some shows in.
This is like finding out the stripper is married to a county sherriff and never got around to finalizing the divorce AFTER she moves into you house.
When can we expect the KENO confession?? You may as well get all the disappointment out now so we can all move on together.
Mai Tai’s on me at the TAI family confessional.
Patch – you are the man!
I guarantee you I will be sampling the Moco Loco from the Clark Street Aloha Grill within 10 days – and I will do a full review — unless of course it’s after a long night of beer drinking – in which case I might not remember…….which reminds me to write the address down and put it in my wallet.
Thanks Man.
B Thirteen Bingo
I hate that old bitch winning
Again and again
-patch406- 2007
Just a little Bingo Haiku written just for you from the resident Ball Breaker trying to spread some love.
Is it wrong that the description of loco moco turned me on a little?
As for my love of bingo, I will accept my ridicule (not unlike Jesus) however, as for the manifesto written by Trainfan, perhaps the dude who gets drunk on maitais alone at 4 in the afternoon needs to examine a few of his own shortcomings.
Perhaps our resident Saviour, Brian (Just Call Me Jesus) Mollica can contact these folks and get a line of gambling statues going to join the sports ones:
http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues.html
As for my well documented druken afternoon in Vegas (I’m sure that makes me unique around here) Perhaps someone can explain the difference between Mai Tai’s at 4 and 6 Beers at 2PM – the TITLE of the February 5th Podcast where Brian waxes poetic about being drunk in the afternoon: http://notiowa.com/?p=41
The Jesus I know is no hypocrite.
Perhaps our resident Saviour, Brian (Just Call Me Jesus) Mollica can contact these folks and get a line of gambling statues going to join the sports ones:
http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues.html
As for my well documented druken afternoon in Vegas (I’m sure that makes me unique around here) Perhaps someone can explain the difference between Mai Tai’s at 4 and 6 Beers at 2PM – the TITLE of the February 5th Podcast where Brian waxes poetic about being drunk in the afternoon.
The Jesus I know is no hypocrite.
As for my well documented druken afternoon in Vegas (I’m sure that makes me unique around here)
Perhaps someone can explain the difference between Mai Tai’s at 4 and 6 Beers at 2PM – the TITLE of the February 5th Podcast where Brian waxes poetic about being drunk in the afternoon.
The Jesus I know is no hypocrite.
On a completely different topic – Tommy’s observations about Las Vegas and the treatment of the homeless is spot on. In the last survey done by the National Coalition for the Homeless, Las Vegas Ranked 5th.
In the report:
5) Las Vegas, Nevada: Even as the city shelters are overcrowded and the city’s Crisis Intervention Center recently closed due to lack of funding, the city continues to target homeless persons living outside. The police conduct habitual sweeps of encampments which lead to extended jail time for repeat misdemeanor offenders. In order to keep homeless individuals out of future parks, the city considered privatizing the parks, enabling owners to kick out unwanted people. Mayor Oscar Goodman fervently supported the idea, saying, “I don’t want them there. They’re not going to be there. I’m not going to let it happen. They think I’m mean now; wait until the homeless try to go over there.â€
…and I believe the fine Citizens just did or are about to re-elect Oscar.
About that $45,000 award to the home-less people…sounds like a good way to recoup your losses: lose a big wager,fall asleep in the streets,get arrested by the cops, sue the city- talk about a system that’s unstoppable..and if they don’t let you in to the casino to place your bets..scream ACLU! Maybe a bit of a gamble, but isn’t that what Vegas is all about??!
There is no doubt that this lawsuit was frivolous and the lawyer behind it is scum, but arresting people who’s lives are already shit isn’t much better. Goodman is doing this for the same reason Giuliani did it in NY City, to hide them. If there aren’t people sleeping in the streets he can claim he’s done a great job, when all he really did was cause another problem. The biggest misconception people have is that the homeless live on the streets because it’s awesome! No bills, no taxes, what’s not to love? Oh that’s right., everything else.
Play for Wednesday: Chicago +5 over Detroit
The Bulls have one 2 of 3 over the Pistons this season, and their one loss was by a bucket on the road. I look for the Bulls to keep it competitive, and possibly even win it out right with some 4th quarter Ben Gordon magic.
Record: 42-28-3
And I happen to know for a fact that Jesus loved Bingo. Why else would every Catholic Church in the country feature it?
hey Bmo, the folks at McCarran airport must have had you in mind and the timing of your love it/ hate it couldn’t have been better. They just opened the $170 mil. consolidated car rental center yesterday. Now all the agencies are in one place and you take one shuttle. If it is like the one at Sky Harbor in Phoenix, it is so nice & easy to get a car and get out of the airport.
here is the full story:
http://www.lvrj.com/business/6859782.html
Brian-
I realize this is a touchy subject,but peeling away the emotionalism -regarding the homeless issue, we have more people on the streets because of many of these people would have been institutionalized up until recent times. In this case, (this change of policy),being ‘compasionate’ didn’t achieve the intended result.
We agree on that point dd. Institutionalizing some of these people with mental illness would be showing them compassion. Locking them up in jail, then releasing them in a month is a waste of time and money.
Couldn’t we get all the homeless people jobs taking tickets at shows or something? I would think anybody who’s not completely retarded or an absolute wacko could get hired for that job.
Brian!
Awesome pick with the Bulls!
CDn
B Thirteen Bingo
I hate that old bitch winning
Again and again
Nice job Patch, the funniest post in the storied history of “This Ain’t Iowa.”
Trivia Question:
Can you name the four Arizona Wilcats who were taken in the 2001 NBA draft..?
Gilbert Arenas ended up being the best player of the group, but I think Richard Jefferson was the 1st Wildcat selected. As for the other 2, I would guess Loren Woods (Another in the long history of 90 lbs big men Lute Olsen seems to love) and Michael Wright who I thought would be the best of the group. Hmm, guess not. That would be my guess dd. I know they were all drafted, just not positive they were all in ’01.
Play for Thursday: Phoenix +3.5 over San Antonio
I was bailed out yesterday. The entire Bulls team was sick yesterday and somehow pulled out a blowout win over the best team in the east. Today I’m hoping the Suns can control the pace of the game on the road and have the same result against the Spurs.