Embrace Your Inner Degenerate

Roe Vs Cactus

We’ll did we underestimate two of the smaller casinos on the strip we talked about them last week, but thanks for everyone on the comment thread. This Ain’t Iowa? This ain’t the soy bean report for sure.

Insider places for this week are both outside of Vegas. Lofland is a mini Vegas by the river and Brian has something for the kids, the Ethel M Chocolates factory in Henderson.

Barbary Coast is the home of the greatest meal Tommy Dutch has ever eaten and our next stop on the strip. Great mix of limit, some good drinking and did we tell you about the food? Four and a Half corn storks, a must see.

Email: Brian Mollica brian@notiowa.com and Tommy Dutch tom@notiowa.com Give us a call 206-203-Iowa


23 Responses to Roe Vs Cactus

  1. KGB says:

    Slashdogx I hear ya. Lifelong Colts fan here who is finally going to see my team in the promised land. The bad news is that I will be in Finland again for the SuperBowl. They do show it on TV, but it goes at 1:15am Monday morning and ends about 5am. Not real conducive to getting a day’s work done.

    Of course I’ll be a homer and pick the Colts, and I have laid that $300 odds bet. Didn’t work out so well. My favorite story about the CR craps game is that it also used to be 35-cent minimum with 100X odds. I was in there one time and I saw 8 frat rats around one end of the table hootin, hollerin, and screamin with every pass of the dice. Finally I counted and saw that between the 8 of them, they had $11 on the table. Wow.

  2. bigbadbob says:

    So I’ve been listening pretty much since day 1, and you’ve finally touched on something that forces me to leave my first comment: the weather! I’m with you guys on the subject — it’s unseasonably warm here in Montreal, Canada (about 10 deg F), but Vegas still sounds a lot like the tropics to me!

    I’d also like to take the opportunity to thank you both for amusing me tremendously twice a week. I don’t know how you do it, but it’s really nice to be able to download the most recent episode at about 8am eastern time on Mondays and Fridays before I leave for work — it makes the treacherous drive through black ice-infested highways very entertaining! Keep up the good work!

  3. Hawkeye Brad says:

    I have also stayed at the Barbary recently, and it is a must-stop on every trip. They just put plasma TVs in the rooms, so that helped make the room ok. I always stop at the BC at the end of the night for the “Midnight Teaser” in Victorian Room. It sounds like a deal at a strip club, but the Victorian Room is the restaurant in the back of the casino. From midnight to 7am, they have a $3.45 breakfast called the “Midnight Teaser”. It is the best drunk food ever. I loved Tommy’s review of BC and agree with 4.5 cornstalks.

    The reason us Iowans listen to Vegas podcasts is because besides the Iowa Hawkeyes, there is nothing else to see and do here. Lots of fields, corn, and beans. Not exactly a top tourist destination.

  4. Steve says:

    $0.35 minimums?! Ahh it brings me back to the days of micro-limits on Titan Poker.

    Thanks for the tip on Michaels. I’m currently planning a trip to Vegas sometime in May and I might have to make some RSVPs there for a nice dinner w/ the GF. I’m looking forward to hopefully meeting Brian again and of course meeting Tommy D for the first time.

  5. patch406 says:

    A complete review of the Barbary Coast and not a single mention of the World Fattest Elvis…come on…fuckin’ amateurs. I apologize, but I’m more than just a little hurt right now.

  6. Straight Outta Fennville says:

    Yeah, I too waited with baited breath (what a dumb freaking cliche) to hear about the 4 bills in a jumpsuit. Wonder how many Midnight Teaser this guy could ingest.


    I did hear a rumor that he got an Al Roker. Now that Harrah’s owns the joint, he’ll probably have to slim down so that he and the BC look like every other property they own.

    Nonetheless, another fun show, a good way to spend 40 minutes.

  7. Slashdogx says:

    KGB, Congratulations on your team making the SB. Sorry you are in Finland that weekend. Screw the work, watch your team.

    Hosts, Stop generalizing Iowans as overall-clad dirt-farmers and start upgrading your web-site so it scrolls pork-belly futures at the bottom. 4.5 Cornstalks! (or Corn Storks as referred to in the show notes above – I’m guessing Corn Storks are birds that deliver those little baby corn cobs you find in salads). Nice rating system.

    Four and a half cornstalks for Barbary Cost and a D+ for the Venation. Hmmmm.

    Excellent idea for a prop bet review. I think we should open up a bit of book on this web site and take some action. KGB and Mofobs could be the bad-debt collectors. Prop bets for a given week might be as follows…

    First host to say ‘absolutely’: Brian 5/2
    Over/Under on number of “Douchbag” insults: 1.5
    Tommy Dutch gets slapped with a Carrot Top restraining order: Even
    The Aladdin/Plant Hollywood gets a good rating from Tommy: 15/1
    The dynamic rating system by that point has decinigrated to ‘number of gumpys punted’: 3/2
    The host’s accidentally skip the Paris: 5/1
    When they do review the Paris, the cocktail waitresses outfits get the majority of the air time: No Line
    Mollica knows what an ‘Eegees’ is and has been to a bar called ‘TD’s West’ (nothing to do with Tommy Dutch): 2/1
    Tommy has not: 1/40
    Lady Grey resurfaces after being spooked by the hosts months ago: 50/1
    Fennville, Patch, Mofobs, or KGB come up with a killer line on the posting board: 1/7

    Does anyone out there remember a place called ‘Little Ceasers’ casino that used to stand in a strip center between Bally’s and the old Aladdin?

  8. trainfan says:

    KGB – I’ll be rooting against you – cheering for my BEARS.

    As for the BC – they may have a great restaurant – but walking the strip a few weeks ago we stopped in for a cocktail or two – and when it was time to move on we asked for some To-Go cups – the barkeep told us to just keep the glasses! So we did – and I think only broke two of the three before we got to our next stop!

  9. Straight Outta Fennville says:

    Nobody ever talks about all of the free stemware available in Vegas. Heck, all of the shot glasses in our house are either from Luxor or Rio. Get a Dirty Girlscout (Baileys and Creme deMenthe) for a nightcap from the CW and take that mother up to your room. Rinse out the glass and clink all of the way home, all for the price of a tip.

    Go Colts!


  10. brian says:

    Oh my god Slashdog, you know the insider lingo! I wish I had an Eegee right now. And while Td’s may be an elite strip club in my home town, it probably would have been featured in our worst of show here.

  11. Steve in West Palm says:

    Nice Post above Slashdogx! However, due to the lengthiness of your post, I printed it off and waited to read it while I had some quality time, i.e. during my afternoon grumpy punt.

    Hey Tony (NotIowa web/podcast master), how about posting some more “softcore” porn pics for the podcast image? F*** my company’s internet police!

  12. devildog says:

    A friend of mine just called me and said that NeTeller has been shut-down as far as transfers with gambling sites(US customers)..Brian,I remember the shows you did on this last fall..well, I’m certainly glad all those law-makers can manage to get ‘something” accomplished! Funny,I don’t remember any huge outcry from the general public about this..

  13. vegas villain says:

    The only place I have ever been in the barbery coast was DRAIS, after hours. On new years! That place was awesome, with lots of beautiful girls. Nice call on the tribute to roe vs. wade. It is the anniversary of a historic case. On the super bowl, I don’t see how INDY can lose.

  14. KGB says:

    Oh Fennville….I haven’t heard that “Bears Still Suck” song since the days of the Papa Joe Chevalier show on the old One-on-One/Sporting News Radio. I hear he does a local radio show somewhere in Vegas now? Those months that he would take off and do the show from the radio booth in the sports book at Mandalay Bay were awesome. Do the sports show and shoot dice right afterwards.

    To edit my earlier post – it was actually 25-cent minimum craps at the Casino Royale.

    And as for collecting bad debts….if you get the wrong side of that Douchebag bet, pay or else. You’ve seen what we did to Litvinenko with that polonium sushi-wrap. Dumbass listened to T-Dutch and bet his life savings against the Gophers football team and came up a few rubles short on collection day. You should have seen the grumpy he punted when he saw the final score…

  15. Straight Outta Fennville says:

    One on One sports was a juggernaut. Arnie Spanier, the stinking genius. Lots of fun!

    All of this grumpy punt talk has had me wondering for a while. Do any of you other fellas ever have your kicking game effected when you visit Vegas? Normally at home I can punt like Ray Guy. When I get to Vegas, I punt like Joe Theisman. What really sucks is that it feels like 4th and long on every play. It must be the dehydration. I seek lots of liquid but I guess coffee and coctails don’t do much for the system. You would think that my obligatory repeated visits to the Mexican station at the Gold Coast’s breakfast buffet would do the trick. Too bad that construction worker didn’t suffer from the same affliction.

  16. Hawkeye Brad says:

    I know what you’re talking about Fennville. One time a few years back when the Westward Ho had their $1.49 Mega Dogs, I ate one and was punting green grumpies for the next 2 weeks! On another trip, I drank way too much while taking way too much ibuprofen for my hangovers and developed an ulcer. Good times.

  17. mofobes says:

    i love the bc and will be sad to see it go when harrah’s decides to scrap it. it has that great, old vegas feel. if i remember correctly, they just added that giant wheel of fortune, group slot machine right inside the front door. i hate that thing and really hope it doesn’t last. it drags the whole place down.

    i’ve never been to drai’s, but last time i was in vegas walking back to my hotel, i saw this hot, exotic looking woman walking out to a taxi. she was wearing a completely see thru dress wearing a white thong only – don’t even know if you can call it a dress really. she might as well have been nude. my only thought was damn! i love vegas!!

    that was one of 2 of my most memorable ‘only in vegas’ moments. the other one was in 2001. it was the middle of the night and i was walking down las vegas blvd minding my own business in front of the wynn construction site when this whore pulls over in her classic z-28 and says, “hey honey, how are you, looking for some company?” i politely declined and she drove off. my only thoughts were, “oh my god, this is heaven on earth! where else in the world do the whores drive up to the customers on the street?”

  18. Gotts says:

    Hey guys… maybe when you take that Iowa trip you can get the whole upper Midwest experience, nothern Minnesota and Fargo to go with it. Keep up the great show!

  19. brian says:

    Yeah…I’m gonna have to pass. But it’s great to have you on board gotts.

  20. vegas villain says:

    I have to get this of my mind. Why is it, that every time you lose at the poker table the guy/girl says he/she is SORRY. What exactly is this person sorry for??? He just won the hand and took all my chips or all my money, how can he be sorry? Just say good game, or nice playing with you, or even see you loser would be better than sorry. Any comments from you poker players who feel me pain.

  21. Slashdogx says:

    Agree with you VV. Although in the end I think “Sorry’ is better than an obnoxious Boo-Yeah See Ya!, or Jamie Gold style ‘I trapped you’!. I suspect is it mostly well-meaning people with a poor choice of words. I myself will take it as coaching, but unfortunately I tend to have limited chances to apply phrasing techniques to people I’ve knocked out.

    Thanks for your comment though, its nice to see the discussion progress upward from personal grumpy colors! Although I will have to admit still laughing at ‘Punting like Ray Guy’. I’m just glad the Las Vegas water conserving plumbing systems sound like super-charged jets that apparantly shoot all grumpys straight to Mexico.

    I think we are all ready for a new episode and grumpy-free week of discussion topics.

  22. vegas villain says:

    True slash. Boo-ya would be alittle worse, and I trapped you is the worst of all. How about a good old fashion “SALUTE”……….you stand up and give the guy a solid “SALUTE” and say good game. That’s how I want to be told good bye from now on.

  23. Lady Grey says:

    Man I so should have taken SlashdogX’s 50/1 bet on my reapperance before I started reposting….or I should have sent you a email, letting you two know to take it, then used the winnings for our strip club tour. But now that Tommy has given B.C. such a great rating I think we should make it our meeting spot on my next trip to the city of sin.

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