Let me get something straight. There was drinking and strip clubs on a Wednesday night, and Dutch wasn’t involved? That’s right, everyone’s favorite daddy to be had his own adventure and lived to tell about it.
If there’s any time left after Brian’s rambling, the fellas will unveil their #13 property, talk about Thai food and cheap beer, give a great tip on where to pick up housewares, and figure out why Tommy Dutch is suddenly breaking into cold sweats lately. What’s the matter, your monkey doesn’t like me?
Email: Brian Mollica brian@notiowa.com and Tommy Dutch tom@notiowa.com Give us a call 206-203-Iowa
The O.J. Simpson video:
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/22432.html
There will be a commercial followed by the now infamous video
BMO, contratulations on working in a Rhino night prior to the arrival of Mr. Diaper.
Jimintx
You beat me to the first post damm.
Mr. Pants thanks for getting me into the story. Great job and I am glad that you are enjoying the nickname. I was not terrfied at the Rhino it was just toooo aggresive for my taste, but thanks for throwing me under the bus for the sake of comedy. See you soon and Lily is now referring to you as Mr. Pants…
a few memebers of Brians family tree:
Mr. Pants: http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Pants/dp/B0007IR8I2
Sponge Bob Square Pants: http://www.nick.com/shows/spongebob_squarepants/index.jhtml
Mr. and Mrs. Squarepants along with Grandpa and Grandma Squarepants: http://www.answers.com/topic/list-of-spongebob-squarepants-characters
Mr. Green Jeans: http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0105186/
Mr. Blue Jeans: http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Blue-Jeans-Carolrhoda-Creative/dp/0876145888
Mr. Happy Pants: http://gapotheclown.netfirms.com/gapostore/nfoscomm/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=31&osCsid=f7c97c53d83b14bbb213f7b64f8691aa
And for our Aussie friends, Mrs. pants:
http://mrspants.blogspot.com/
From now on Bmo, you are mr magic pants.
The unofficial band of TAI:
http://www.mistermonkeypants.com/
First of all, I feel the need to defend my masculinity. I just want to say, if I wasn’t a full-on, dick sucking, ass pounding homosexual I could have easily gone home with any woman I wanted. So yea, I have a bit of a man-crush on Tommy Dutch, who doesn’t? Come on, Mr. Pants, you’ve let me in on the deepest, darkest fantasies involving Tommy Dutch and that big yellow butt plug you’ve got at home. And Tommy, I was crushed that you never came to join us, especially after I made sure to pack my magnums in preparation for meeting you.
But then I realized I already have. I was looking at your picture on the website while I was, well, my friends used to call it “flogging the dolphin,” when I realized where I had seen you before. You’re the guy from the Luxor Spa who kept eying me across the steam room, giving me the creepiest glances and trying the most inappropriate pick up lines. Some of my favorite include “want to lick my balls in the hot tub” and “come over here and f*ck me, my asshole is as big as an eggo waffle.” So, Tommy, your hypocrisy has been exposed, and while you may masquerade as a homophobic all-american, I know the true Tommy Dutch. And all I have to say is, f*ck you.
PS How’s the syphilis treating you?
Wo shit man that was some post.
I’ve never been to a strip club, and I’m not gay, no Dick is going near my ass. But everybody to there own. As long as the party aint happening in my pants I’m never confused.
What do you think of the post Mr pants?
sounds like i choose a good night not to go out after all
Ok we lay down our armoury.
Hey us manx boys make ejector seats for fighter aircraft that should be good for the strippers.
I like how I tried to convince Dutch that ekarros is actually a good guy and just enjoys being a dick, then he posts the single most graphic and disturbing post in TAI history (which is a bit of an accomplishment). Well done Karros. I’m pretty sure we can rule out you meeting Tommy for the remainder of your trip.
Sorry Brian, but Wikipedia says you don’t exist! It clearly says you’re a fictional character that originated as a joke:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Pants
BTW, WTF is an eggo waffle, after the previous post I’m just too scared to look it up via google
EBob,
They are pretty nasty, but only in the tasting sense. Its safe…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eggo
TD, Good response man. Let it die.
I don’t know what’s more disturbing, ekarros’ post or the fact that as you guys listen you take the time to google the words we say. Is it possible to both love and fear your fans?
Play for Friday:
Cardinals +102 over Dodgers
So the Dodgers finally won a game, and for their troubles they have been awarded another series on the road, this time against a Cardinals team which is playing well and inexplicably still in the playoff hunt. I’ll take Wainwright and the birds.
Record: -70
holy shit! What the hell is going on? This is some serious dialogue you guys got going.
This is what happens when you don’t show up Fyregirl, how was the club?
Just listened to the second half of the show. I think Tommy totally missed Brian’s comment “… that actually exists, I thought it was only a myth…” comment.
THANK YOU SLASH! I was so proud of my G-Spot joke and the fact that you picked it up means the world to me.
Not only did I miss it, but I believe I paused like I knew there was something and still came up with nothing.
The worst part is after 24 hours this is all I have:
“not only does it exist my friend, but all the swingers are coming there this weekend”
Not bad. I would have gone with, “Oh it exists, and I know right where to find it”.
I have donned my miners helmet and wet suit,the quest is on. my wife won’t know what hit her, IT’S GO Time.
Brian,
You seem much more profane and aggressive this week. Wednesday, I thought it was the beer talking, but you kept it going today.
Personally, I enjoy it, the more degenerate the show the better. Just an observation.
Fyrgirl help bring back some normality to the posts, give us a virtual lap dance or something, we are being invaded by alien butt fucking queers.
Aaaarrrrrrr help help help help help help help help….
Did you hear about the gay cowboy who road into town and shot up the sherif.
Two gay Scots called Ben doon and Phil McCrevis.
Hey wake me up when we get back to normal.
God why do kids wake up in the middle of the night crying. For no bloody purpose but to piss me off?
Hey bmo you have all this to come,
Good luck brother.
On behalf of the Amazing Richie and Manx people,I would like to offer up a sincere apology for the use of the q word.
Why
Still haven’t found this G spot thingy , have to call it a night as the laptop is becoming quite moist.
Rich it’s just very offensive. If you must you can call them ‘uphill gardeners’ or my personal favourite ‘ a driver of the chocolate whiz way’
Yes I do offer my appology but post number 9 did upset me as I hate that type of thing.
I will not post anymore
Oh My God. I’ve just read it!!!!! The dirty little turd burglar!
BMo, Dutch – Catching up on the shows that I missed while in Vegas. Had a great time meeting up with you guys, JazzyJay, his buddy, and mofobes. I guess I should have mentioned that the reason (besides not being a real big drinker) that I didn’t want anything to drink is that I was planning on playing some poker back at the Venetian once I left the Brew Pub. My friend back home staked me $200 to play and I promised I wouldn’t drink before or during play, since it doesn’t take a whole lot for me to get tipsy. I promise next time I’m in town, if we meet up, I’ll have a cold one with you guys. The good news is, because I was sober, I ended up making an $812 profit playing poker ($1/$2 NL Hold’em) from Tuesday night through Wednesday night. Hope that’s Vegas-y enough for you. So all-in-all, it was a great trip.
I suggest you stay clear of downtown when you visit Richie. If just reading a post from a gay guy pisses you off that much, I can only imagine what will happen if you run into a Freemont St. trannie.
Congrats on the win Stu. Makes me wonder what I could accomplish if I played poker sober. I guess the world will never know.
I’m only 11 minutes into this show and have laughed out loud at least three times.
The whole Mr Pants things is fucking cracking me up.
Mofobes T-Shirt and Hat combo is also a winner
Let me offer late congratulations to the Pants family on the expected Baby Pants. Must feel good to know your boys can swim!
As a new father I recommend finding out the sex of the baby for two pragmatic reasons.
1)Your friends and family will be able to buy you more stuff. (There just isn’t that much gender neutral baby things.)
2)Coming up with one name you and your wife can agree on is tough enough. Two will be nigh impossible.
Some advice for the actual birth process:
1)Epidural, screw that natural birth plan!
2)Mr. Pants needs to go home the night after the baby is born, Don’t spend the night sleeping on the cot in the hospital, this the last chance for a good nights sleep, and you will need it. When Baby Pants and Mrs. Pants come home you need to be in top form, because for Mrs. Pants will be a wreck. (You try passing a whole pair of pants through your zipper.) So taking care of Baby Pants will be all on you for about 48 hrs.
Also pray to any gods you hold dear that s/he doesn’t get colic, as my daughter did. Worst 8 weeks ever!
all the credit for rusty trombone t-shirt & “did you poop?” hat go to the birthday boy, Mr. Troy Bohunk, he was the one wearing that stuff. one of the cocktail waitresses wanted to buy the hat from him, i don’t think he sold, but personally i think i would have tried to work something out in trade.
Sorry mofobes too busy laughing to think straight.
This whole Mr Pants thing is a winner – the king is dead long live Mr Pants
today isn’t going to one of those says where you guys argue over masculinity is it?
Mofobes, hope your ready for a night out. Also although i’ll play alot of ring games,am looking for some small buy in tournaments/sit and go’s that i can get done in less than three hours? I’ts my first time playing in vegas so not sure how long these things take. When i say small i mean max $150 buy in hold’em, big pot limit fan but will play anything. Any help finding a game will be most welcome.
Hey fyregirl you foxy little stoat, am still waiting on your club report, how was it?
Okay…. Funniest friggin’ show so far guys…. Mr. Pants… Mr. Boner Killer…. love it..
Seriously Tommy, you have sounded very depressed since Bridget moved in….
All I can say is that I love this shit and I’m moving to Romania. To all of you amatuer strip club goers out there, do not be scared of the back room. It could be the smartest investment you ever make. Nothing is sexier than when the chicas put on your “did you poop today” hat and grind your junk. On a side note, I just got done watching the news out here in vegas and apparently there is a missing persons report out for Mr. Pants’ legs because no one has seen them in years. They have been missing so long they could be declared legally dead.
P.S. The fact that I am not dead yet is a crime against nature. Life’s a freeroll at this point.
hey there whit. I the club was cool until my girl friend and I got thrown out. I actually got escorted to the valet! We didn’t even last an hour. Crazy huh?
Fantastic, never been ejected from a club before, as understandingly they try to let me drink as much as i can. With you as our guide we need more info. Now do i tip the doorman, as i’m flying past horizontally or do i wait till i land in a heap outside?