Embrace Your Inner Degenerate

I’m Covered In Ants!

Tommy was a little bummed out because he felt the last show was too “professional”. Well fear not loyal listeners, almost no effort was put into today’s show!

The fellas intorduce a slew of new listeners and Tommy adopts a new robotic personality. Hear about a great deal at a shitty casino, and a football pick ’em contest that requires absolutely no skill. Right up Brian’s alley.

Finally, they wrap it up with a fat chick recap, midgets in costume, hair bands a plenty, and judges chillin on myspace during recess. I can’t believe you’ve had Thai food 3 days in a row!

Email: Brian Mollica brian@notiowa.com and Tommy Dutch tom@notiowa.com Give us a call 206-203-Iowa

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99 Responses to I’m Covered In Ants!

  1. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    I am may be the only one here who visits the Star Trek experience, but I love it!! the first time I visited, I went around and around – its so cool, being beamed up, standing on the bridge and then taking the shuttle back to Vegas!!! Happy days!

    The only slight problem is that its set during Star Trek NG when The Federation are allies with the Klingons, and yet they are fighting over Vegas which doesn’t make sense, but who cares… I love being a geek!!

    On the subject of the party; it’s a shame the the BBW’s are not still in town, otherwise they could have submitted fake photos and then crashed the place en masse (masse, as in massive!! LOL!!) after inviting the press… Just imagine the scene!!

  2. AceRockollaUK says:

    Bloody hell the MGM and The Wynn! – I stayed at the Trop maybe that’s why I have some money left 🙂
    As for the closing dates – I am sure the Vegas boys can give you the run down.
    Ideally I am sure Pants and Dutch will have you over to thier pads and let you have free run of thier pools!

  3. dipperfc says:

    RE: The Hilton……I loved staying there because all I need in Vegas is a craps table, a pool (its ok but not great), hookers & good sportsbetting facilities. What TD & Mr Pants says is true, The Hilton has the best Sportsbook in Vegas.

    But I felt silly sitting there having bets with YoTimeJoe because he was wearing his pink Barry ‘Fanilow’ shirt.

  4. AceRockollaUK says:

    Watched some of the MLS highlights today. Seems Toronto is the most popular team with
    English fans and Chivas are the least popular.
    I guess I need to find an aligence in the MLS
    The crowds looked pretty good although from what I could see most of the people looked like the BMo Simpsons alike – very few WASPs or Brothers.

  5. dutch says:

    Likely lineup and injury report for Tuesday:

    B Mo: Probable to start, likely to leave game early
    Dutch: Probable, ant bites healing well, should be fine
    Mofobes: Just pencil in the Cal Ripken of TAI meet-ups
    Trainfan: He’ll be there
    Train’s Bride: Questionable, exposure to degenerate lifestyle?
    Richie: Can harass Whit and see Fyregirl, he’s there
    Whit: Can harass Richie and see Fyregirl, he’s there
    Anyone else from the Isle of Man: doubtful, the exposure thing
    JimmyMac: Probable, should leave golf round early for this one
    Fyregirl: Probable, hasn’t disappointed TAI yet
    Momma Dutch: Questionable, will she be informed?
    Mrs. Mo: Out, degenerates will be exposed to smoke
    Bridget: Doubtful: 4:30 wake up call Weds.

    Over/Under on drinks per person:
    Richie: 13.5
    Whit: 13.5
    Fobes: 12.5
    Dutch: 9
    Trainfan 8
    Fyregirl 7.5
    JimmyMac 5.5
    B-Mo 3.5
    Momma Dutch 1.5
    Field 2.5

  6. whit says:

    Drinktastic.

  7. Richie says:

    nice list dutch

  8. patch406 says:

    Post of the week from the Dutchboy.

    Making the debut as the “Asshole” Listener

    Whit +175
    Ritchie -115

    Sorry fellas, but somebody has to a be a favorite.

  9. Scott J. says:

    Sorry to be missing the Tuesday night gathering. Sounds like a great time.

    I’m taking the over on total drinks for everyone except Dutch. I don’t see Tommy lasting much past 3 pints. Brian over 3.5 is the lock of the year, although at 4+ he will need a cab ride home.

    My personal over/under for a Vegas evening is 17.

    Whit and Richie, if your looking for a great beer list, you can’t pass up the Freakin Frog, near the UNLV campus.

  10. brian says:

    Even with a 9am game looming on Wednesday morning, I tend to eclipse the 3.5 mark. The Wednesday show will be postponed until Thursday so we can discuss the night’s debauchery. We will be taping early Wednesday afternoon, so Dutch will be sleepy and hungover, and I will be angry after being reprimanded at work for falling asleep on the keyboard and scoring the Dodger game 443 to G.

  11. Steve in West Palm says:

    Boys: the meet-up line-up for Tuesday sounds very interesting. I picture that the meet-up will be a lot like a dysfunctional family reunion… A lot of drinking to cover up the akwardness of the dead beat uncles standing around staring at the attractive niece (fyregirl) and quietly telling themselves that it really wouldn’t be an incestuous felony if things were to get a little out of control…

  12. dutch says:

    Tuesday night is getting better and better

    The Godfather is now listed as probable.

    GF drink total: 4

  13. dutch says:

    OK soccer guys, I have to give credit where credit is due

    I’m watching 24 televisions with different sports on all of them and this N.Y. v. L.A. game is the most exciting thing on. It’s not even close.

  14. brian says:

    I must say out of everyone coming out for the boozeathon, I’m most excited about seeing Pat, the degenerate gambler/pizza maker at the Brew Pub. I hope we at least stay there late enough for him to get off work and have a few beer bongs with us.

  15. mofobes says:

    They are the SACRAMENTO River Cats, and the loaf of Sara Lee Honey Wheat bread is very tasty.

    Also, a lot of the pools are heated and stay open year around. Those that close shut down Oct/Nov and reopen March/Apr. FYI, it gets down in the 30’s F here in the winter, so not really the best pool weather, even for the Brits.

  16. mofobes says:

    how many drinks are in the 6′ beer bong? can i hit the over in one serving?

  17. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    Cheers for the pool detail Mofobes! We got roasted by the pool in June, so hopefully the October sun will be a little kinder to our pasty British skin.. Last time we hit town in October I didn’t get anywhere near the pool – I was embracing my inner degenerate and pissing away money on booze and Blackjack!

  18. Richie says:

    I think tues will be fun, sounds like everybody is looking forward to that one.
    See you fello drinkers soon.

    T-4 hours until we leave the Isle of Man YIPPEE.
    Not sure when i can post again will try from my phone if i can get a conection.

  19. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    Have a mega-blast Richie, looking forward to the podcast – Bloody degenerates.

    Don’t forget to take your cameras – we need photos!

  20. YoTime Joe says:

    Hi All, Here is some updated info for the Hatton – Mayweather fight. Going to be at the MGM but no info on prices yet.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/boxing/news/story?id=2980550

  21. AceRockollaUK says:

    Tommy Dutch bigging up the Soccer – You rock!

  22. AceRockollaUK says:

    Dutch pick a team to follow, watch a few games in a row to get to know the players and better understand why a low scoring game like soccer can be very exciting whilst a game like basketball where any idiot over 8 ft tall can score a hatfull is often very dull.

  23. AceRockollaUK says:

    I guess Tuesday night is going to turn out to be
    a) a legendary night forver talked of in TAI circles in hushed tones as the party of a life time
    or
    b) a disaster which ends with 3 or 4 TAI regulars in a holding cell trying to chat up a downtown ladyboy. A well known TAi presenter caught loitering in the mens room at Binions and getting arrested for suspected obscene acts.
    A slew of films being uploaded to youtube showing richie dressed like a gimp, whit handcuffed to a chair and dressed in panties and a bra and fyregirl sporting a mighty strapon and greasing it up slowly – while whit is heard begging for mercy and richie is begging for more.
    The godfather it turns out is undercover for the feds and his task is to clear the world of it’s inner degenerates – many arrests will follow.
    Momma Dutch had turned states evidence to try to rescue here Son from the degenerate world he was trapped in.
    MoFobes is at the Cashiers cage trying to cash a ticket showing a winner on the under / over on who goes to Jail.
    Pat from the brew pub when interviewed on the TV news later is heard to say that he is disgusted by the events of the night as some of the people involved had not even drunk 3.5 pints by the time things kicked off, he felt Vegas was becoming soft.
    The big rumour around town is the Vegas.com podcast had reporters on the scene ready to witness the downfall of the hated TAI who had recently be voted ONE of the top 100 Vegas podcasts – which meant they where one of the 100 podcasts better than Vegas.coms.
    Party on!

  24. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    Ace, sir, several billion people correctly call ‘soccer’ football… I understand that one of the former colonies now refer to their version of Rugby Football as just plain football, but as we all know, this game is a bastardisation of both football and Rugby and those who refer to it as football should be given a Right Royal slap about the chops.

    Furthermore, football, and indeed all spectator sports are simply an expression of ‘success by proxy’ and therefore those who patronise them should also be subject to twating by a large winking kipper.

    Still, on a more serious note, I am with you on the Vegas.com (Vegas in five my ass!) podcast – FUCK ME, that’s some dull corporate ass licking drivel being peddled as ‘street’ (did I just say street? Fuck me, that’s almost as lame as EVERY SINGLE BLOODY Vegas podcast using the word HIP to describe the newest ‘ultra lounge’ of ‘crowd’ at some new ‘Emperors new clothes’ night club! Has every other Vegas pod cast been invaded by Austin (dull as ditch water) Powers?

    Hip? Yea baby, yea! (cunt)

    I’m off to bed!

    Love and cuddels, Mung.

  25. AceRockollaUK says:

    Mung – I am just too tired of typing Football (soccer) all the time – It makes it easier for the US boys to understand, If I just type soccer – but please every time I do please read as Football.
    I have chosen my MLS team – Chivas as I used to follow the Mexican version and they had a great history. Now those were some cool football shirts and I have been seen wearing them in the past!

  26. English Bob says:

    Mung,

    Can you let me know when the next session of people getting a “twating by a large winking kipper” is to be held.

    I wanna bring my camera.

  27. English Bob says:

    And a word of warning to all betting on the drinks over/under.

    When any one from this side of the pond talks about pints it’s a 20 fluid ounce measure, not the smaller 16 fluid ounce version you might be used to in the US.

    So when Richie and Whit’s say they only had 8 pints, they’re really talking about a slow night of a meer 10 pints (US adjusted).

  28. jimmymac says:

    Does the 8 or 9 beers on the golf course BEFORE I get to the meetup count?

    I was at the costume ball last night,no wonder they wanted masks,that was the ugliest bunch of folks I’ve ever seen gathered at one place…just shows you what money can do for you…

    So WHERE is the TAI stockholders meeting at? Or do I just follow the vomit trail?

  29. AceRockollaUK says:

    According to vegasrex – 4 people were shot on the strip today – that’s three shootings in a few short weeks – what is going on?
    I was always led to believe the strip was ‘safe’, that sure looks like a crock of shit to me.
    I hope richie and whit have thier bullet proof vests

  30. brian says:

    I would bever go so far as to call the strip safe. Anyplace you have people who haven’t slept, are in various states of altered conciousness, broke and angry, some shit is likely to go down, but you’re right, these shootings are a relatively new phenomenon.

    My quest to break even in baseball before football betting starts continues:

    Rockies +100 over Dodgers

    Jeff Francis has been the ace of this staff and lights out every time I’ve seen him pitch.

    Record: -370

  31. brian says:

    Needless to say, I meant to type “never” in the previous post, not “beaver”. Freud would have a field day with me.

  32. AceRockollaUK says:

    Pants you are going to have to explain to me what Rockies +100 over Dodgers means – It obviously can’t be points so please help.

  33. brian says:

    That’s the money line, most commonly used when betting on baseball, hockey, fights, etc. The Rockies pay even money on a $100 bet. The Dodgers, who are the favorites in this game, are at -140, meaning to win $100 you would have to wager $140. All the Rockies have to do is win the game out right, no point spread.

  34. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    ‘Police say all the victims in the shooting were innocent bystanders.’

    What a terrible thing to happen to anyone, let alone innocent bystanders.

    Its quite amazing that there is not more trouble in Vegas given that the whole ethos of the place is to use alcohol as a catalyst to part people from their money with little regard as to whether they can afford to loose the money or not. Indeed, the whole notion that people can afford to loose any amount of money for very little reward is a little crazy. Personally, I feel a lot safer on The Strip that I do in most British cities on a weekend night regardless of the difference in gun laws between the UK and US. Most British cities are on a weekend night are populated by very drunk, aggressive young males who may not shoot anyone, but will give you a smack in the teeth as soon as look at you, and if they happen to be holding a bottle at the time…

    Having said all that; last time I was downtown on Freemont Street I did feel a slightly threatening undercurrent of aggression – don’t ask me why, because its hard to explain, but for our entire time down there I felt uneasy and the only time I have felt that before in Vegas was on a ‘lads’ trip and we ended up in bumsville outside some random strip joint at 4am but that’s probably because I had no frame of reference by which to asses our safety, situation or ‘threat level’ from the other people around us… Not a highlight of the trip!

    For my money; Vegas is just about the friendliest place on the planet, and fingers crossed it stays that way. Indeed if people in the US could learn to hold doors open instead of letting them swing in each others faces, it would be just perfect. (That’s another one of my backhanded compliments, but this time aimed at an entire nation… which is always fun).

  35. Paigow Pete says:

    you can’t make this stuff up…..

    they must realize this is a horrible, horrible idea, right?…. But, you guys definetly have a shot at a guest apperance on their Parumph episode..

    VIVA LAUGHLIN. Part drama, part thriller, PART MUSICAL!!!!

    VIVA LAUGHLIN chronicles the story of Ripley Holden, a man who wrestles personally and professionally to open a casino in the desert city of Laughlin, Nevada. Against all odds, Ripley strives to support his family while pursuing his ultimate goal…the American dream.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k41ys4hjFT4

  36. AceRockollaUK says:

    Mungus – you are so right – I think the UK at kicking out time is pobably one of the most unsafe places in the world.
    I was in Brazil in San Paulo for a few months and used to wander the streets in a drunken haze at all times of day and night and never ever felt any threat in what is supposed to be one of the worlds most dangerous cities.
    Walking around Exeter at closing time is much worse.
    I have never felt any threat in Vegas but some fuck wits shooting blindly into a crowd of people is a bit scary

  37. English Bob says:

    Ace,

    I must admit I’d be happier walking round Exeter than Sao Paulo. I spent a little bit of time in Sao Paulo and I must admit there were plenty of places I really didn’t feel safe. Although the fact a full city wide attack on the police force was going on at the time didn’t really help.

    When I’ve been in Vegas there’s usually been, on average, a shooting a day somewhere in the city, but that doesn’t tend to effect my holiday. In fact when I’m in Vegas I always feel safe, even on the odd occasion when I’ve found myself well off-strip

    But you can never allow for all eventualities. All you can do it not let it get to you.

  38. AceRockollaUK says:

    English Bob – Did you ever find your way to the Irish Bar run by the Dutch bloke called Ali?
    Used to be called Finigans – Now called O’Malleys on Alemeda Itu – Great Food – Great Drinks all the American & English Sports on live TV and easily my favorite bar in the world !!!!!!!
    I used to walk to it from my apartment which when sober was a good 30 minute walk, when drunk (i.e. when going home) it was often a 45 minute walk. ) – My apartment was right the way over by the Carefore supermarket. Good Times indeed! 🙂
    I literally spent 3 months drunk and yet back in blighty I hardly touch a drop funny old world.

  39. AceRockollaUK says:

    Oh there was more than one Finnigans that’s why they changed the name – the other one was crap !
    I am most concerned in Vegas by the way people drive, every morning on the news they seemed to be reporting more people killed.

  40. Hawkeye Brad says:

    Speaking of unsafe places, I was supposed to leave yesterday for Jamaica on my honeymoon. Our resort is on the south coast, right in the line of fire of Hurricane Dean. Hopefully it’s still there for when we rescheduled in September. That would have been interesting to be there.

  41. slashdogx says:

    Brad, sorry to hear about the honeymoon disruption. I would suggest taking the cross-state trip to Lake Okoboji and asking everyone there say, “no worries mon” a lot, but it would not be the same.

  42. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    Brad, congratulations on your marriage, all the best for the future mate. Sorry to hear about your honeymoon woes! Sounds like you need an impromptu trip to Vegas!! 🙂

  43. English Bob says:

    Ace,

    I generally avoid Irish or English bars when I’m away – I get enough of them here. But, I’m due to head out there for a few weeks in Feb, so I’ll try to give a go then.

  44. AceRockollaUK says:

    Bob,

    I understand what you say about English or Irish bars I too avoid them generally but I was sucked in after the first visit – It was like a Brazilian cheers (everybody knows your name) – stunningly beauiful women, friendly guys – The airlines English and American usually stop over for 3 or 4 days at a time and this was almost headquarters, everybody who speaks English ends up there. You an watch live Monday night American football and its a great atmosphere.
    It’s was a great place (this was 6 or 7 years ago) – They have a great bar food menu, they speak English (as I am sure you know that is rare in SP) they have a really friendly welcome within a day they have hooked you in.
    Check out http://www.omalleysbar.net for more info.
    What are you going over there for?

  45. Mungus the Wonder Horse says:

    Mungus the Wonder Horse,
    Mungus the Wonder Horse.
    Like a streak of lightnin’ flashin’ cross the sky,
    Like the swiftest arrow whizzin’ from a bow,
    Like a mighty cannonball he seems to fly,
    You’ll hear about him ev’rywhere you go,
    The time’ll come when ev’ryone will know the name of
    Mungus the Wonder Horse!

    … I’ll get my coat…

  46. pmac says:

    Well my bets for the weekend came in

    Man City over Man Utd (cunts) – £40 @ 4.00
    Liverpool draw with Chelsea – £40 @ 2.10

    So thanks to the Swedish master Sven’s men sticking it to United and a dodgy penalty call costing Liverpool a win, Im showing a profit for the football…only week two though

  47. mofobes says:

    yeah, getting shot at random sucks but nearly as bad getting raped and killed by your pet camel as happens in Austrailia.

    “Pet camel kills Australian woman
    A woman in Australia has been killed by her pet camel after the animal may have tried to have sex with her”

    Pet camel kills Australian woman

    The woman was found dead at the family’s sheep and cattle ranch near the town of Mitchell in Queensland.

    The woman had been given the camel as a 60th birthday present earlier this year because of her love of exotic pets.

    The camel was just 10 months old but already weighed 152kg (336lbs) and had come close to suffocating the family’s pet goat on a number of occasions.

    On Saturday, the woman apparently became the object of the male camel’s desire.

    It knocked her to the ground, lay on top of her and displayed what the police delicately described as possible mating behaviour.

    “I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing,” the Associated Press news agency quoted Queensland police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory as saying.

    Young camels are not normally aggressive but can become more threatening if treated and raised as pets.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6954728.stm

  48. paul teale says:

    Hi B’mo and Tommy, great show, vegas is starting to sound like South London, what with all the gun crime!
    Plus those huge bitches, got to love them fat arses tommy was banging on about, Me thinks you should stick a night with a BBW in the ever expanding prize package!
    Bye the way my contributions on its way, some shit from the uk!

  49. Lady Grey says:

    B.Mo, Tommy D…I just wanted to tell you that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Krave on Saturday nights they have girl bar there. For those that don’t know, girl bar is a lez club for girls…but the best part is that they have rules on guys getting into the club. Each guy has to have at least one girl with him to get in, so unlike a lot of lez clubs it isn’t 90% men trying to see two hot girls kiss…..it ends up being more 90% girls that love girls and the few guys that some of then brought along. Man how I love that place…and this girl that I met at the LA version….ahh, good times. Maybe we can have a TAI event there next time I am in town….

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