Embrace Your Inner Degenerate

I Now Pronounce You Man And Oprah

It’s another disjointed Friday with topics ranging from late night firework displays, slow motion vomiting, cops making their quotas, and Brian’s list of things to say at a business meeting.

But the brides and grooms are the stars of today’s show on the eve of the busiest wedding day in Vegas history.  The fellas talk pros and cons of a Sin City marriage, a hot spot for a bachelor party, and a brand new club that can cater the reception.  “You best be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina”.

Plus stay tuned at the end of today’s show for a great call from Hawkeye Brad who gives the play by play of having a Vegas wedding.

Email: Brian Mollica brian@notiowa.com and Tommy Dutch tom@notiowa.com Give us a call 206-203-Iowa

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45 Responses to I Now Pronounce You Man And Oprah

  1. Brian says:

    Love the comments on the fireworks, guys., My site (www.regularguycolumn.com) will have my piece on the issue on Sunday.

    And for my boy Dutch, you seem to be bitching about people, not the institution of marriage. Marriage itself is fine, it’s the idiots who don’t take it seriously.

    Lastly, stop hating on the hot dog eating, guys. That’s as American as it gets.

    Love the podcasts. Keep up the good work.

  2. Hawkeye Brad says:

    I like how just after TD says he tried going to a strip club on Xmas eve but there was a cover charge, BMO chimes in “obviously that person’s made some bad choices in life -you just can’t let him see naked women for free.”

  3. Hawkeye Brad says:

    I confused right now…Brian from post #2: please change your name to something else, because I got you confused with the host, Brian, who uses that post name. And if I’m confused, imagine how TD will feel after reading it.

  4. brian says:

    You’re wrong Hawkeye, that’s Brian’s new style. Brian now steps out of the host role and views the show as a listener. And Brian thinks that Brian rocks!

    Damn I just confused myself. Thanks for the kind words Brian #2, but I insist you change your name. Mainly because at the end of the week I tend to forget what I posted, and that can only cause turmoil.

  5. Paigow Pete says:

    Even more interesting TiminTx – is that this didn’t get picked up more by national news…. gotta love how the casinos control all the bad news……..

  6. mofobes says:

    the shooting news was on AP. and it is breaking news on the LV Reveiw Journal site right next to the headlines about how it is hot here – really, no fucking shit? we are in the middle of the goddamn desert and one would think that being “hot” was no longer news here.

  7. mofobes says:

    at least the RJ picked up the most important detail, “… The man, dressed as a cowboy, started shooting randomly from the mezzanine inside the casino.”

    at least he did it with a little flair.

  8. Jeff says:

    Hey. I know, I know, I’m a handful of episodes behind, but I just saw that great t-shirt and I’d like to order one. Also, I need a mannequin for a project I’m doing. Where can I order the pasty white one you have modeling the t-shirt? Looks like it hasn’t been in the sun EVER.

  9. Jeff says:

    ALSO, this has to do with Monday’s show coming up! The Tour de France is here. It starts tomorrow (or during taping you can say, The Tour de France started Saturday in London).

    And I want to know if there are any places in Vegas to bet on this event. I’m headed to Paris in a week (7/16) and when I’m over there I’ll be visiting the Aviation Club in Paris to play some poker.

    But I also want to know if I can lay some cash on one of the teams in the Tour.

    Let me know.

    Oh, if you want to know what I’m doing…visit my OTHER blog, not bowl of cheese, it’s TDF07.com (I’ll be blogging my whole trip and will give updates on the tour. I’ll also list my poker exploits while in Paris.)

    Does Paris have a MoFobes? I need someone to drink Pastis with and go out for dinner at 10PM.

    LATAH!!

  10. Dutch says:

    give me the Cardinals today -115
    Season Total +869

  11. Yzerman13 says:

    BMO, nice job with the dog this week, chopper was making my dog bark when i was listening.

  12. RegularGuy says:

    At least the original brian spells his name right – a department across the hall from me has two guys who spell it with a ‘y’. Stupid fuckers.

    Anyway, I’ll go by this now as long as you suckers check out my blog once in a while. Thanks for getting me through my morning walk and/or commute a few times a week.

  13. brian says:

    Sorry about that Yzer. I know what that’s like. If a doorbell rings on tv, Chopper goes into all out attack mode.

  14. patch406 says:

    Early Day 1 WSOP Main Event Dirt Naps Include: Doyle Brunson, Johnny Chan, Alex Jacob, Greg FBT (full blown tits) Mueller, and the World’s Hugest Dougebag Eric Molina.

  15. Straight Outta Fennville says:

    Great show. It got me through 6:30 am run to the grocery store. I nearly spit a mouthful of BK Turbo all over the paper towel section when Brian dropped the line Brad commented on above.

    As far as marriage goes, I like to think about what I would be had I not gotten married. The Beach Boys say it best. “God only knows what I would be without you.”

    I would be living in the same crappy apt. complex watching Sportscenter 3 times a day and eating mac and cheese with BBQ sauce for dinner every night.

    Or, I probably would have made the short trip from Casa Grande, AZ over the dam to Vegas where I would have gotten a job writing for handicapping websites and doing a podcast, watching Sportscenter 3 times a day and eating mac and cheese with BBQ sauce for dinner every night.

    Good segment Brad. Anyone interested in getting married at the RIO can check out some pics of the H/M suite at Trainfan’s site. http://taifriends.ning.com

    BMO, Back to last show. I love the “she looks like she’s wearing an inner tube to go down the Salt River” reference. I think I am the one listener who knows where and what the Salt River is. I posted about Senior Ditch Day 1990 at the Salt River on the last episode’s comments. I thought for a second, “BMO’s from Tucson. How does he have The Salt River on tap?” Then I remembered that none of the rivers in BrownTown (not at all a racist remark…the whole town is done in varied shades of brown) have any water in them.

  16. brian says:

    Nice catch Fenn. Yes, we have several abandoned dirt washes that we call rivers. They have no water but are flowing with homeless people and crack pipes. So we got that going for us. The Salt river comment just popped out. Definitely a key part of growing up in AZ. I can’t think of innertubes without an immediate memory of the Salt river. Ordinarily, drinking beer when you’re 16, outside, in 110 degree heat, on a weekday morning would seem wrong, but if you were doing it while tubing down the Salt river, it all made sense.

  17. Richie says:

    you could tube down the streets here bloody rain 🙁

  18. Richie says:

    sod it im going for a pint

  19. asterion says:

    I’m spending most of my day here in front of my computer listening (and trying to record parts of) Live Earth. I haven’t got everything, but I got all of Red Hot Chili Peppers, most of Metallica, all of Spinal Tap, and some of Bloc Party so far. Anyone else listen?

  20. Paigow Pete says:

    As far as The Great Tommy Dutch Marriage debate: The sooner we get back to strippers, whores and gambling, this will be a much happier place. Second, I realize no one in their right mind will read all this (this discussion belongs in a thesis or something— not a degenerate gambler podcast), but let me give it a shot.

    I’ve been married 14 years (to the same person even) and while I’ll rarely recommend marriage to someone, I AM a big supporter. If you think that the concept of marriage has been around since very early-on in human history, that you find societies across time and around the globe (regardless of culture and religion) have more often than not supported marriage, then it strikes me as pretty self-centered to think that there is something unique about modern-day America that suddenly makes marriage unnecessary (and I know Tommy would hate to be an “ugly American”).

    Marriage is a covenant or a commitment between two people (and maybe their god) to face the challenges of life together. It’s not a tax deduction or a medical benefit (that is just the stuff that the State gives us as a benefit to support marriage because of the benefits marriage provides to society in stability and community and growth and the common good. I’m not saying all marriages are good. There are plenty of good reasons for divorce and lots of people get married too soon or for the wrong reason.

    But, TD, your concept of “commitment” and the perfect relationship I think would be pretty funny to most of us married guys. What’s the perfect relationship? A girl who cooks, cleans, folds your laundry, gives blowjobs on request and lets you stay out till 4am playing poker? What if her idea of “perfect” is flowery pillows on the couch, holding hands at the Jewel concert and visiting her grandmother on Sundays to rub cream into her bed sores? Trust me, if you find the right person that stuff won’t matter (except maybe the Jewel concerts). And just ‘cause you like something today, doesn’t mean you’ll like it tomorrow. As BMo said, that commitment of marriage doesn’t let you just pack your bags and leave when you don’t like the hair in the drain anymore – you’ve committed to something larger than yourself.

    Wow- that was way too long…. Can we get back to strippers and gambling??????

  21. Paigow Pete says:

    p.s. – I think the fact that DT asked his marriage question during the few weeks out of the year that most married guys are taking their screaming brat kids and pain in the ass wives on summer vacation was a plot to prove his point…..

  22. brian says:

    If anyone’s going to be in town this week let us know. We’re planning a little TAI-con at Binions on Thursday afternoon with Steve in West Palm and his bro cb as the guests of honor. As always the more the merrier. I have to work in the late afternoon, but mofobes will be there for those of you who defy the biological need for sleep.

  23. vegaspilgrim says:

    It’s vegaspilgrim postin’ again! I have a couple of questions here, Brian and Tommy: 1. Do you guys get paid at all for This Ain’t Iowa? and Brain– for Behind the Bricks? Does Tony get paid? If not, are you thinking about getting any corporate sponsorship? I bet you guys could make big bux ($$$)? 2. Your job seems unreal. You actually get paid to watch sports all day? It sounds like you’re living up the dream! I wish I could do that. How do you apply? 3. Since you guys have lived in New York and Chicago, respectively, do you think Las Vegas counts as a real city? I’m on this relocation forum a lot and people are constantly bashing Las Vegas. Since you guys have lived in the “big city,” how do you think Vegas stacks up?

  24. vegaspilgrim says:

    Oh yeah, btw, your clock on this message board is totally messed up. In on Arizona time right now (same as Pacific right for this half of the year) and it’s 3:56pm, not 10:56pm. Technical difficulties?

  25. asterion says:

    The clock is on GMT. There is a 7 hour time difference between MST (which is what you’re on) and GMT.

  26. brian says:

    Yeah, we’ve thought about fixong the clock, but I figure most people go by est in the US, we’re on pst, our producer is usually not even on the same day, so fuck it. Besides, unless we end up in court, I can’t imagine why knowing what time people post would matter. Come to think of it, maybe we should fix the clock.

  27. JR says:

    Asterion, The missus and me went to the Live Earth concert in Sydney last night and it was a great day/night. (Much better than a Jewel Concert Paigow Pete!)
    Wolfmother, Eskimo Joe, Jack Johnson and Crowded House were probably the highlights.

  28. vegaspilgrim says:

    Some forums, when you log in let you choose which time zone you’re on, customizing it for each person. Or just tell people what time that means, like 6:00 GMT. But, since it’s a Saturday, I’ll let you off the hook on that one today. :}. So, what do you have to say about my orig question: your job and getting paid any $$? Oh yeah, and repeat after me kids: vodka sucks, vodka sucks, vodka sucks, vodka sucks :(. Recovering from some afternoon day drinking right now. I’ll have to admit, I’m not as hard core as your Australian or Isle of Man fans (I think).

  29. asterion says:

    JR, I’m getting some of today with the line-in from my satellite radio receiver (I’m recording The Police as I type this) and will get the rest of what I might want tomorrow once the performances are available on demand. I’ll admit, I didn’t think the lineup was as good as Live 8’s was (and to be honest I still don’t), but Smashing Pumpkins/Roger Waters/The Police back to back helped to change my mind. I wish the Smashing Pumpkins and Roger Waters could have just kept going on. Anyway, once I get this all recorded, cut to the proper parts using Audacity and convert it to MP3, it’s going into my iPod to listen to at work on Monday.

  30. Paigow Pete says:

    while i really don’t give a shit about the time… I think it should be on Parumph time….

  31. Hawkeye Brad says:

    Allegiant Air had a $7 sale today: one way flights direct from Iowa to Vegas for $7. Just booked my next 2 trips:)

  32. YoTime Joe says:

    Hey guys, JR has been on posting and hasn’t given you the information that you were after so I guess it’s up to me. In most states in Australia prostitution is legal you just need local council approval to open up a whorehouse. The strange thing is that in these states the rules for strippers is that the punters aren’t allowed to touch. Now in Queensland it’s the opposite you’re allowed to touch the strippers but not the whores?? Go figure.

    brian – the reason behind having to call about the fine is that it stops people trying talk their way out of the ticket on the spot. Good luck about missing the fine but I would like to the breakdown of how many people actually get out of them.

  33. YoTime Joe says:

    Tommy, Your article has moved it’s now under MLB link and at the bottom of the page. I can’t comment because I only bet on what I’m told to with the baseball, not betting the run lines.

  34. Richie says:

    I’ve been married now for 17 years and I couldn’t be happier. I also film weddings as a pro and for such a small population of people I’m kept very busy and I’ve also had brides come back for me to film there second wedding which I find strange.

  35. JR says:

    I’m glad YoTime Joe gave the run down on legalities of Pimping in Oz, given i’m in a relationship and want to stay that way, i’m pleading ignorance on that topic! And by the way Honey if your reading this all i know is what Joe told me, and thats nothing! ; )

    Parumph Time??? and while i’m at it whats a Stoner from a couple of episodes back?

  36. JR says:

    VegasPilgrim – I hear you buddy, after 5 cans of vodka and 6 beers last night at the Live Earth Concert i’m feeling a little dusty too. I dont think i’m up to the Isle of Man drinkers either!

    Asterion – i’ll agree with you on the lineup although it ended up being a great day, enjoy your podcast Monday.

    HawkeyeBrad – now if only Qantas can do $7 airfares from Sydney to Vegas we’ll be all set, although i dont think it will matter how much it costs for YoTimeJoe he will get there twice a year regardless of the cost!

  37. brian says:

    I appreciate the whore insight Joe, although apparently it’s more of a “hot button” issue with Tony. I woke up in the morning to find a 2 paragraph breakdown of prostitution is Oz.

  38. JazzyJay says:

    Now time for the “Who gives a shit?” post:

    Hey guys…just checking in after finishing up my vacation. I haven’t caught up to all the shows yet, but I’m working on it.

    As for the timestamps on the posts leave it as GMT, it gives the boards that international feel. Though I agree with Paigow Pete and think that Parumph time wouldn’t be bad either.

    Now let’s get back to the gambling and whore talk…

  39. dipperfc says:

    Great post (#21) Paigow Pete – you have made the most sense out of this marriage topic thus far & made me laugh.

    Re: The prostitution/brothels in Sydney (NSW)- there is not many suburbs without them. The main law is that they can’t be next door to a school/church/etc. And having done some research (just for the purpose of helping TAI) there are 83 adds in my local paper for these services. HHHHHhhhhmmmm
    Can’t wait for pay-day.

  40. brian says:

    Welcome back JJ. Don’t forget to keep us posted on your Vegas trip next month. We have your exclusive TAI prize package waiting. And with all the free schwag mofobes and Dutch have been lifting from the WSOP, it will trully be a pain in the ass to carry around. Congrats!

  41. Richie says:

    im getting bored with all this wedding bollocks now just either do it or dont, now lets get back to business and talk about the three main things we like to talk about.
    BEER
    GAMBLING
    WHORES
    make that 4 there is still the pigs to slag off.

  42. Trainfan John says:

    Just catching up on wednesday’s show – TD you were fascinating – whatever you did preshow keep doing it.

    A few questions for you though – Do you equate the commuting of Libby’s jail time (NOT a pardon, he’s stillon probation and paid the 1/4 million dollar fine) more closely with Clinton’s pardon of Susan McDougal of Whitewater fame or Dan Rostenkowski – the crooked Democratic Congressman who was head of the Ways and Means committee??

    As for the gov’t sponsored online poker program to create universal healthcare? Is that idea based upon the roaring success we’ve had in Education ever since we started funding it with State Lotteries or something else?

    Looking forward to listening to the wedding show next – Mine went off just fine.

  43. Trainfan John says:

    I couldn’t agree more with the mini-rant on traffic cameras towards the end of this episode. In Chicago it is about to get ridiculous.

    39 accident-prone intersections generated 304,011 tickets and $17.9 million in 2006 alone.

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